作者: 王子薇-WelcomeHome 心理咨询师
作为一个心理咨询师，今天我想说说什么是心理咨询。十几年前高考报考专业的时候家人希望我学医，我说不行，我晕血，我说不然我当个心理医生吧， 也是医生啊。 家人笑笑没说什么。 没想到当年的一句玩笑话如今却真的成为了我的职业。大学快毕业那年，我去了一家医院的心理科实习，可是到了才发现怎么现实和老师教的不一样啊？！ 老师说咨询中建立咨询关系很重要，要倾听你的咨询对象，要体验对方的情绪情感，要运用同理心支持和理解咨询对象。怎么到了现实中一切都变成了冷冰冰的量表，和一粒粒的百忧解（抗抑郁药），每个病人不超过10分钟就搞定了？后来我才慢慢明白， 这里是医院，大夫给病人看的是器质性疾病，也就是用药物控制大脑和身体从而产生身体机能的变化，比如，如果你太亢奋，开点药让您镇静下来，如果你太难过，开点药让你神经大条，感觉不到太多情绪。然而这听上去简单有效的方法却是一种被动性的改变，虽然能暂时解决问题，却会容易让我们产生对药物的依赖，并且可能会有副作用，比如，感觉不到难过的你，也同样感觉不到快乐。后来，离开医院的我，义无反顾地走上了心理咨询的道路，因为心理咨询不同，虽然他的成效没有药物治疗直接有效，但是它可以让咨询对象有主动意愿的改变，一但我们的大脑学会了应对方法，就像是我们掌握了一个技能，长期有效并且没有后遗症。
AN UNFAMILIAR LAND/ 陌生之地
First Entry /初见
Live In The Moment
Author: Hazel Lee (She graduated from the University of Edinburgh in Msc Counselling Studies. A qualified counsellor of WelcomeHome.)
Time flies at an alarming pace. Children always wish to grow up quickly and hope time would pass faster. Some people may complain they don't have enough time in the day, especially when they are facing a deadline. Some people may hope to have more time to do more things in their life. Some people feel regret that time passes too quickly and they have wasted a lot of time. There are some people that blame themselves for not spending enough time on themselves, but always on others.
One minute contains sixty seconds, which is a fact that we can not change. We can not ask for the time to pass slowly. However, we can change our attitude towards spending time. Have you realised that people are always talking about the future and the past, and they seldom talk about the moment that they are living? Some unimportant things or their environment may distract people so that they forget to enjoy the moment that they are having right now.
生活在别处 Living elsewhere
“See, as I always said, dreams always remind us about something. They are the subconscious that cannot be controlled by logic or moral principles. A dream is a straight line to our heart.”
作者：刘一昕 By Yixin Liu Translate：Matt Liu
我的留学感言-从两年前的“白日梦”谈起 My experiences of study abroad--Start from a Day Dream two years ago
作者：王子薇 来自 WelcomeHome Multi-language Support
Author： Ziwei Wang from WelcomeHome Multi-language Support
On this day two years ago, I posted a blog that said: "I just notice that library is a good place for day dreaming..."
两年后，我发现自己竟然因缘巧合地坐在和两年前同一张桌子前to make my dream come true...。
Now I found I am sitting in the same place as two years ago to make my dream come true...
Time flies. To remember the dream I had made two years ago, I am glad that I am getting closer to it step by step. Even though it is hard, I believe it is worth it.
Looking back on the two years that I have been in the UK by myself. It feels like being on a roller coaster with many ups and downs, breathtaking but really interesting. My friend told me"Studying abroad is as hard as XiaXiang(To let educated youth settle in the countryside as members of agricultural production brigades)." I agree with it as I had never thought studying abroad is an easy thing. It was like a hardtack which compressed all the good things and bad things in my life. Once eaten, it will inflate and fill your life immediately. Sometimes it may inflate too fast for me to get use to it. However I think it is a precious experience of mine.
From feeling excited when I got the offer from the University to feeling frustrated when I got the grade of my first essay;
From feeling curious and joy about a new environment to feeling sad and homesick from hiding by myself in my room;
From enjoying the freedom and independence from detaching from my parents to feeling afraid and overwhelmed when facing the problems by myself;
From feeling delight and looking forward to my future in the graduation ceremony to having a painful struggle when facing the reality of job hunting and the dilemma of leaving or staying;
From making my decision with soaring aspirations to achieve my dream to now feeling peaceful and hopeful after many twists and turns.
Studying abroad is full of the conflicts feelings which is always ups and downs, have both happiness and sadness.
So if you have a dream today, remember to hold it, as one day it will come true.
No matter what situation are you in at the moment, eg. You are going to study abroad; you are doing your study in a foreign country or you are just going to finish it. Please ensure yourself always ready for facing both the joyful and depressed moment, as life can never be prefect in every moment. However all the hard work we do now is for our brilliant future, just like the "DAY DREAM" that I made two years ago in the library.
Lets work hard for your dream!
Please empty your fridge before leave
---- For people coming from overseas
Cooking has never been an important thing for MIaosheng Li until 2009，when she was "abandoned" in London, UK. A place famous for Big Ben, Harry Potter, The Queen, or... boring food....
Occasionally the sense of loneliness for people coming from overseas.
Just like all foreigners, she has to face all the difficulties on her own. However her enthusiasm for food became a good way for her to deal with the sense of loneliness. So she promised to herself:
Cannot be careless for food; Cannot waste food and make as big a variety as she can.
At the beginning, cooking is only because of her cravings. Can you imagine a Chinese girl living in a foreign country, how difficult it could be, if there is no home cooked dish in her life?
So she started to have Beef noodles, lanzhou Pork, home made jelly on her dining table. Gradually, she realized these home cooked dishes can help to relieve her negative feelings.Then gradually it developed into a habits:
Any food she wants must be cooked by herself.
Food and the smell of cooking became a significant part in her life in a foreign country. "Have a good meal " became a simple and easy way that she cares for herself.
Cooking gradually became a essential part of her life. The smell of the food from her kitchen arouse her thoughts about the meaning of home.
She said: when I set the stove to cook it is like the gravity which can make me feel like coming back down to earth. This is the most important meaning of a home for me. In other words, this is the power that can help and support me overcome the countless feelings of sadness, frustration and all the other bad feelings I have experienced or am experiencing , and enable me to came back to be myself.
This is a normal story about an ordinary girl with her five kitchens. Whenever she is going to leave home, she will try all her best to finish the food in her fridge in a prefect way. As food for her means energy, memories, and a greeting for her new day.
Maybe you are also a lonely person drifting in somewhere of the world. Maybe you also have many gloomy mood which cannot talk with others about.
This book can make you realise how the food can help you overcome your difficulties.
If you like cooking, then no matter where you are,
Cooking is everything.
Feeling lonely, depressed, frustrated, homesick.... Maybe these are the bad things that everyone from overseas will have to experience. I believe people could have their own way to deal with them. For example, the author Miaosheng Li. Cooking is her special way to overcome all the difficulties. Her kitchen which is full of familiar smells like home can arouse her feeling that make her feel safe and comfortable, where she can relieve her negative feelings. Then everything in her world became better.
If you have not found your way to deal with the bad feelings whilst living a foreign country yet, then simply join us. Let us be your second home in the UK, be your gravity, and help you to feel grounded, find your true self and the homely feeling in a familiar environment, languages and culture background.
WelcomeHome Support people from overseas.
What is more