Category: Personal Experiences - WelcomeHome Multi-language Support

说说心理咨询那些事

19/11/2018

作者: 王子薇-WelcomeHome 心理咨询师

作为一个心理咨询师，今天我想说说什么是心理咨询。十几年前高考报考专业的时候家人希望我学医，我说不行，我晕血，我说不然我当个心理医生吧，也是医生啊。家人笑笑没说什么。没想到当年的一句玩笑话如今却真的成为了我的职业。大学快毕业那年，我去了一家医院的心理科实习，可是到了才发现怎么现实和老师教的不一样啊？！老师说咨询中建立咨询关系很重要，要倾听你的咨询对象，要体验对方的情绪情感，要运用同理心支持和理解咨询对象。怎么到了现实中一切都变成了冷冰冰的量表，和一粒粒的百忧解（抗抑郁药），每个病人不超过10分钟就搞定了？后来我才慢慢明白，这里是医院，大夫给病人看的是器质性疾病，也就是用药物控制大脑和身体从而产生身体机能的变化，比如，如果你太亢奋，开点药让您镇静下来，如果你太难过，开点药让你神经大条，感觉不到太多情绪。然而这听上去简单有效的方法却是一种被动性的改变，虽然能暂时解决问题，却会容易让我们产生对药物的依赖，并且可能会有副作用，比如，感觉不到难过的你，也同样感觉不到快乐。后来，离开医院的我，义无反顾地走上了心理咨询的道路，因为心理咨询不同，虽然他的成效没有药物治疗直接有效，但是它可以让咨询对象有主动意愿的改变，一但我们的大脑学会了应对方法，就像是我们掌握了一个技能，长期有效并且没有后遗症。
这里说说几个常见的我们对心理咨询的误解：

AN UNFAMILIAR LAND/ 陌生之地

4/4/2016

By Beautiful stranger
“Find yourself wherever you are！

作者：美丽陌生人：
“无论身在何方，记得做自己！”

“Without Stillness, Life is a Blur”

The beauty of being surrounded by the foreign slaps me on the face everyday and I realize I can’t take anything for granted. Part of being a stranger is to be curious about the world and the people living on it. I’ve learnt to have more openness and acceptance of differences in people and places, and to share my life, my likes and dislikes with others. It is a fact that living in a cross-cultured place have had a deep effect on my sense of self and my perception of everything: language, culture, space… I’ve even modified my thinking process while speaking or writing as my mother language is Spanish, not English.

As a foreign I had to adapt to so many new things: food, weather, clothing, even smells and colours. And I must say, the adaptation process is not always easy, it comes along frustration and depression sometimes. As humans we tend to find comfort in the familiar things, and when we don’t have this it provokes distress. But as I always say, it all depends upon how you look at it, and what I’d recommend is to embrace discomfort. Sometimes I got to say, I had to push myself into doing new things, and talk to new people, even if I was terrified; but I’ve learnt that in situations like this creativity is our most powerful tool to overcome an awkward loneliness.

“没有坚持，生活只是虚无”

每天，我都在收集着生活在一座陌生城市的美好点滴，但是我也意识到自己的承受能力的局限性。作为一个城市的陌生人，有很大一部分工作是对陌生环境及当地的人们生活的好奇与探索。我也终于试着勇敢地敞开心扉，接受身边的不同，并与他人分享着自己的所想所觉。渐渐地我开始意识到这座充满着不同文化的地方深深地影响和改变着我对自己及身边一切：语言，文化，空间……的和认识看法。我惊奇地发现，当写东西的时候，我甚至会改变自己的思维模式来适应不同的语言。

作为一个外来者，我需要不断努力去适应一切新的事物：吃穿住行，天气，甚至空气中弥散的气味和城市中特有的颜色。而我不得不说，这并不是一件容易的事情，很多时候挫败感和失落感总是挥之不去。我想，人本能会需找与自己相似的东西，而当我们找不到的时候，那种沮丧就可想而知了。但是，正如我常说的，事情的好坏还是取决于你怎么看待它，我会建议大家试着拥抱和接受这种不舒服、不适应的感觉。很多时候，我不得不承认，我也是硬着头皮逼自己去尝试新的东西，和“陌生人”聊天，即使我已经精疲力竭。然而，我发现这其实是最有效的方法让我们战胜那恼人的孤独感。

First Entry /初见

21/3/2016

By Beautiful stranger
“Find yourself wherever you are！"

作者：美丽陌生人：
“无论身在何方，记得做自己！”

The story of Beautiful Stranger started with an unfamiliar welcome to the City of Edinburgh. I moved to the city around December, all the city was full of lights and colors, and people, it felt so alive, with a lot of movement, parties on the street, people from all over the world… It was never quiet, the streets were packed; I remember I couldn’t even walk on a decent pace. At some point it was a little overwhelming as I didn’t know anyone on the city, I was there, missing my family and friends, standing all alone surrounded by all this Christmassy gear, and cheerful people. I couldn’t feel more far from home; nonetheless I managed to spend Christmas Eve with some friends.

The city was getting less louder and less crowded just as holidays were over. It was now January the 1st of 2016, I woke up quite early and went out for a walk. Everything seemed so bright and quiet, few people on the streets, all the stores and restaurants were closed, I felt for the first time like an outsider, watching in silence the lack of movement of a hung over waking city. It felt nice for a while to contemplate the city just as it is, trying to picture myself on it.

Back to the flat, I found a little envelop waiting for me on the door step, it said: “beautiful stranger / with love” I took out from the inside a little note: “ticket for a lifetime of happiness” with a little stamp of a kitten on it. It was the best welcome note ever, from a Stranger to a Stranger. That in fact, made me realize we are all strangers, and the first thing we share is this space / this city.

However Beautiful Stranger is you, me, everyone, it has no color, no nationality, no border… it is an idea under construction, an evolving concept, a belief that we all are strangers, travelers, collectors of moments, curators of our own memories and experiences. We all have been strangers at some point in our lives and sometimes that feeling can be terrifying but at the same time an opportunity to create our own identity, our connections and relations with more strangers and our personal discovery of places.

So I invite all of you Beautiful Strangers, to discover all those new places waiting for us, new cities, new faces, and share your experiences with me in this little corner, where I will be sharing my experiences of living abroad, what I’ve learned by traveling around different countries, some of my life-hacks to survive cultural and language differences for example, also part of my rituals, recommendations, crazy thoughts... well in general my ideas and philosophies of being a Beautiful Stranger. ☞ I will finish this post here, hoping my story gives you a different perspective of being a stranger in this world.

Cheerio!

美丽陌生人的故事的源于我对爱丁堡这座城市的陌生……

大概今年12月左右的时候，我搬来爱丁堡这座美丽又陌生的城市。记得刚到的那天，我觉得整座城市灯火通明，五彩斑斓，到处是熙熙攘攘的人群，还有拥挤的圣诞集市。多么有活力的一座城市啊！站在街头，我看着来自世界各地的人们享受着这座城市的繁华与多彩，而我却感觉自己和周边的一切格格不入，无法跟上集市中人们的步伐…因为这座城市对我来讲如此陌生！我只是孤身一人，站在人来人往享受着圣诞欢乐的人群中，思念远方的家人和朋友。突然感到一种从来没有过的距离感。

总算，随着圣诞假期的结束，这座城市渐渐恢复了平静。还记得那是2016年一月一日。我醒的很早，一个人出去散步。周边的一切看上去都好刺眼，街上静的出奇。偶尔看到几个人走在街上，所有的商店，餐厅都大门紧闭。第一次，我感受到了这座城市在繁华后的静谧与安详，也是第一次我可以试着想象自己生活在这座陌生的城市中。

回到家里，无意间看到门口静静躺着一个小信封，标题写着“爱你的-美丽陌生人 ”，好奇地打开信封，里面有一张精美的小卡片，淡淡几个字写着“一张通往快乐的门票”，右上角一个小猫图案的邮戳。这对我来说真的是最棒的一份欢迎信，欢迎我来到这座城市，从一个陌生人到另一个陌生人。这也突然让我意识到，我们彼此都是陌生人，我们唯一共同的是，共生在这座华丽而陌生的城市，分享着同一片天空。

我想，美丽陌生人可以是你，是我或任何一个人，Ta没有颜色，没有国籍，没有界限……这是一种信仰：我们都是彼此的陌生人，我们一直走在路上，收集片刻美好，创造属于我们自己的记忆。也许我们都是彼此的陌生人，而陌生这个词有时候让我们觉得害怕，因为未知，但从另一个方面想，陌生也是一个机会让我们能够重建自我和自己身边的一切，认识新的“陌生人”，探索新的世界。

所以，在这里，我邀请所有的“美丽陌生人“来加入我，让我们一起探索在前方等待我们的未知和陌生，陌生的城市，陌生的面孔……欢迎你在这里分享你自己作为“美丽陌生人的“ 经验，当然我也会在这里与你分享自己的生活和旅途中的所思所想和实用攻略。希望我们能跨越国界，跨越文化地域，跨越语言，最终从未知到熟悉, 从未知到熟悉，从害怕到爱上。

----美丽陌生人
敬上

Live In The Moment

7/11/2014

Author: Hazel Lee (She graduated from the University of Edinburgh in Msc Counselling Studies. A qualified counsellor of WelcomeHome.)

Time flies at an alarming pace. Children always wish to grow up quickly and hope time would pass faster. Some people may complain they don't have enough time in the day, especially when they are facing a deadline. Some people may hope to have more time to do more things in their life. Some people feel regret that time passes too quickly and they have wasted a lot of time. There are some people that blame themselves for not spending enough time on themselves, but always on others.

One minute contains sixty seconds, which is a fact that we can not change. We can not ask for the time to pass slowly. However, we can change our attitude towards spending time. Have you realised that people are always talking about the future and the past, and they seldom talk about the moment that they are living? Some unimportant things or their environment may distract people so that they forget to enjoy the moment that they are having right now.

生活在别处 Living elsewhere

31/10/2014

Stella Qin

来到爱丁堡两个月，依然会时不时为古老的建筑心醉，为每天的日出日落惊喜。爱这个地方，就像爱一个灵魂的居所。

我爱极了这里的石板路，相比于熟悉的柏油马路，这里更有静谧的情调，好像每一条未知的路都可以通向秘密花园。困扰的是，在这样的路上行走，笨拙如我，穿着平底鞋还会崴脚，拯救我的是行李箱中的两瓶云南白药。

我享受这里的学术氛围，自由讨论，没有任何一个问题有确定的答案，没有任何一本书指定一个权威的结论，我更敢于妄想之前不敢做的课题，更加多元化地看待这个世界。偶尔会想念坐在教室最后偷偷打盹的日子，以及陪自己打盹的小伙伴。

梦境考察-之一左手定则 Dream investigation--The law of your left side

18/10/2014

这是梦境，也是现实；是回忆，也是心理分析;是小说，也是一本病历。全凭你随意解读。

Is this is a dream or reality; a memory or psychoanalysis; a novel or a medical history. It is up to you to interpret it.

WelcomeHome
原创作者：
楚茹，英国爱丁堡大学教育学硕士，本科就读于华南师范大学文学系。多年的心理咨询经历让她对心理学的沙盘和释梦理论产生了自己独到的见解和研究。

WelcomeHome original author: Churu, Graduated from the University of Edinburgh in MSc Education; South China Normal University in Bachelor of Literature. Many years counselling experiences have given her have a special view of dream interpretation and sandbox theory.

“梦中无意识出现的人往往只是代表了那样的一个形象，就好像每个人在梦中都会出现一个你称为母亲但其实并非你母亲的人，那个人是你内心深处真正想要得到的母亲的化身，是母亲这个形象的在你心中的反映而已。”

“See, as I always said, dreams always remind us about something. They are the subconscious that cannot be controlled by logic or moral principles. A dream is a straight line to our heart.”

爱丁堡，与你初相遇 Edinburgh，The First Love with YOU

24/9/2014

作者：刘一昕 By Yixin Liu Translate：Matt Liu

初相遇
-----席慕蓉

我喜欢那样的梦
在梦里一切都可以重新开始
一切都可以慢慢解释
心里甚至还能感觉到所有被浪费的时光
竟然都能重回时的狂喜和感激

站在黄昏中的卡尔顿山，离玫瑰色的云雾最近的地方，痴痴地瞭望。我倾尽此生韶华，只为与你初次相遇。山雾摇曳着远方的风笛声，温柔而和缓地迎面拂过，滋润着异乡人的心扉。这座小城，氤氲成了一幅绝美的情画。

仿佛是有灵魂的，向你诉说着百年的沧桑。爱丁堡的厚重从来不会让人感到沉闷，沿途路过的精致别墅，黑栅栏，白窗棂，五彩花篮使人沉浸在无限遐想中。中世纪的鹅卵石古道，纵横交错。英式的红色电话亭矗立街头，而色彩同样鲜亮的双层观光巴士，在以黑灰色调为主的城市背景里，婉约成了一曲断章。沿Royal Mile走过去，看到一个瘦削的男人，手持竖琴，坐在路边，双手抚动琴弦。花白的头发垂肩，晚风时常从他的发间和琴弦之间穿过。琴声轻柔、灵巧，在空气中流淌。此刻，时间为他静止，仿佛伸手就可以触摸到音符。

流年未央，经年未忘。作为异乡的学子，些许迷茫，不知所措，这座城市的美却吞噬了一切忧伤。缱绻的夜色，微醺了时间的沉香，朦胧的月色环抱着山脚下的这座小城，远处的大海又沉沉地睡去……

Standing on Calton hill, I spend all of my life waiting just for this meeting with you. The winds, the fog, slowly and softly touching my face and pulling my heart strings. These things became just the perfect picture of this city.

Edinburgh, this historical city never lets you feel bored with her soul. Passing by those beautiful buildings makes your imagination run out of control. The traditional cobblestone road and the colourful tour bus compose a lovely song around the city. Looking down the Royal Mile, there is an old man playing a harp.; the music and surroundings combine to create a dream like atmosphere where time seems to slow down and even stop.

The time passes quickly, as a foreign student. I may feel confused and may get lost, but the beauty of this city just takes all of my worries away. The city slows down with the dark blue night, Arthurs Seat illuminated by the moon and the sea sparkles in the distance; until tomorrow.

我的留学感言-从两年前的“白日梦”谈起 My experiences of study abroad--Start from a Day Dream two years ago

27/6/2014

作者：王子薇来自 WelcomeHome Multi-language Support
Author： Ziwei Wang from WelcomeHome Multi-language Support

27th August 2012

两年前的今天，我在微博上写到“突然发现，图书馆原来是个Day dreaming的好地方。。。”
On this day two years ago, I posted a blog that said: "I just notice that library is a good place for day dreaming..."

两年后，我发现自己竟然因缘巧合地坐在和两年前同一张桌子前to make my dream come true...。
Now I found I am sitting in the same place as two years ago to make my dream come true...

时光荏苒，回想当年的Dream，很高兴现在我在朝着他一步步迈进。虽然辛苦，但一切都是值得。
Time flies. To remember the dream I had made two years ago, I am glad that I am getting closer to it step by step. Even though it is hard, I believe it is worth it.

回想自己一个人在英国留学、生活的两年，如同做过山车一般起起伏伏，无比充实。引用一句朋友的话“留学和下乡差不多锻炼人”。的确留学绝不是件简单的事情，他就像压缩饼干，压缩了生活中所有的酸甜苦辣，吃下去一下子就把生活填的满满的。让人有些搓手不急，然而这却是我宝贵的一段生命历程。
Looking back on the two years that I have been in the UK by myself. It feels like being on a roller coaster with many ups and downs, breathtaking but really interesting. My friend told me"Studying abroad is as hard as XiaXiang(To let educated youth settle in the countryside as members of agricultural production brigades)." I agree with it as I had never thought studying abroad is an easy thing. It was like a hardtack which compressed all the good things and bad things in my life. Once eaten, it will inflate and fill your life immediately. Sometimes it may inflate too fast for me to get use to it. However I think it is a precious experience of mine.

27th June 2014

从拿到offer实的激动兴奋，到拿到第一份作业成绩时的失落沮丧；
From feeling excited when I got the offer from the University to feeling frustrated when I got the grade of my first essay;

从初看到一个陌生城市的新鲜喜悦，到一个人闷在房间里的难过想家；
From feeling curious and joy about a new environment to feeling sad and homesick from hiding by myself in my room;

从终于逃离家长开心地期盼自己的独立和自由，到遇到问题时一个人的害怕难过和不知所措；
From enjoying the freedom and independence from detaching from my parents to feeling afraid and overwhelmed when facing the problems by myself;

从参加毕业典礼时的开心喜悦及对未来的无限憧憬，到面对现实、就业、回国等现实压力时的痛苦挣扎；
From feeling delight and looking forward to my future in the graduation ceremony to having a painful struggle when facing the reality of job hunting and the dilemma of leaving or staying;

从下定决心朝自己梦想迈进的壮志凌云，到如今几经周折的沉淀；
From making my decision with soaring aspirations to achieve my dream to now feeling peaceful and hopeful after many twists and turns.

是的，留学的生活既是如此地跌宕起伏，悲喜掺杂。
Studying abroad is full of the conflicts feelings which is always ups and downs, have both happiness and sadness.

如果今天你也有一个梦想，记得一定把他hold住，因为在不远的明天，它终有可能成为现实。
So if you have a dream today, remember to hold it, as one day it will come true.

不管是你准备来留学，正在留学，或即将完成学业，都请你为自己的人生同时做好承受喜悦和悲伤的心理准备。因为在生命中的每个阶段，都不能完美。而我们每天的努力，都是为了更好的明天，正如两年前的我在读书馆做的“DAY DREAM”。
No matter what situation are you in at the moment, eg. You are going to study abroad; you are doing your study in a foreign country or you are just going to finish it. Please ensure yourself always ready for facing both the joyful and depressed moment, as life can never be prefect in every moment. However all the hard work we do now is for our brilliant future, just like the "DAY DREAM" that I made two years ago in the library.

让我们一起加油，朝梦想前进吧！
Lets work hard for your dream!

离开前，请吃空冰箱 Please empty your fridge before leave

17/4/2014

Please empty your fridge before leave

---- For people coming from overseas

Cooking has never been an important thing for MIaosheng Li until 2009，when she was "abandoned" in London, UK. A place famous for Big Ben, Harry Potter, The Queen, or... boring food....

And ....
Occasionally the sense of loneliness for people coming from overseas.

Just like all foreigners, she has to face all the difficulties on her own. However her enthusiasm for food became a good way for her to deal with the sense of loneliness. So she promised to herself:

Cannot be careless for food; Cannot waste food and make as big a variety as she can.

At the beginning, cooking is only because of her cravings. Can you imagine a Chinese girl living in a foreign country, how difficult it could be, if there is no home cooked dish in her life?

So she started to have Beef noodles, lanzhou Pork, home made jelly on her dining table. Gradually, she realized these home cooked dishes can help to relieve her negative feelings.Then gradually it developed into a habits:

Any food she wants must be cooked by herself.

Food and the smell of cooking became a significant part in her life in a foreign country. "Have a good meal " became a simple and easy way that she cares for herself.

After this....

Cooking gradually became a essential part of her life. The smell of the food from her kitchen arouse her thoughts about the meaning of home.

She said: when I set the stove to cook it is like the gravity which can make me feel like coming back down to earth. This is the most important meaning of a home for me. In other words, this is the power that can help and support me overcome the countless feelings of sadness, frustration and all the other bad feelings I have experienced or am experiencing , and enable me to came back to be myself.

This is a normal story about an ordinary girl with her five kitchens. Whenever she is going to leave home, she will try all her best to finish the food in her fridge in a prefect way. As food for her means energy, memories, and a greeting for her new day.

Maybe you are also a lonely person drifting in somewhere of the world. Maybe you also have many gloomy mood which cannot talk with others about.

This book can make you realise how the food can help you overcome your difficulties.

If you like cooking, then no matter where you are,

Cooking is everything.

---以上内容引自新浪微博@李妙生
---翻译：WelcomeHome多语言心理辅助中心

---Cited from Sina Weibo @miaoshengli
---Translated by WelcomeHome Multi Language Support

感觉孤单、痛苦、难过、想家......也许这些是每个在异国他乡的人都不得不经历的。我相信每个人都有自己的方式去应对和解决，正如这本书的作者李妙生一般，下厨成为她找回自己的良方。饱含熟悉的味道和香气的厨房让她又有了回家的感觉。于是，生活的一切都变得美好而不同。

如果你还没有找到自己的良方去应对生活在异国他乡的种种囧态，那就赶快加入我们，让我们成为你的英国之家，你的地心引力。让我们帮助你在熟悉的语言、文化和环境中尽快找回真我，找回家的感觉。

欢迎回家：）

Feeling lonely, depressed, frustrated, homesick.... Maybe these are the bad things that everyone from overseas will have to experience. I believe people could have their own way to deal with them. For example, the author Miaosheng Li. Cooking is her special way to overcome all the difficulties. Her kitchen which is full of familiar smells like home can arouse her feeling that make her feel safe and comfortable, where she can relieve her negative feelings. Then everything in her world became better.

If you have not found your way to deal with the bad feelings whilst living a foreign country yet, then simply join us. Let us be your second home in the UK, be your gravity, and help you to feel grounded, find your true self and the homely feeling in a familiar environment, languages and culture background.

After all tomorrow is another day !

6/4/2014

Are you feeling unhappy?

Find yourself a comfortable place, maybe with a cup of hot chocolate and some warm sunshine.

Let all the sadness gone with the tears.

After all tomorrow is another day !