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your second home in the uk

生活在别处 Living elsewhere

31/10/2014

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Stella Qin
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来到爱丁堡两个月,依然会时不时为古老的建筑心醉,为每天的日出日落惊喜。爱这个地方,就像爱一个灵魂的居所。 

我爱极了这里的石板路,相比于熟悉的柏油马路,这里更有静谧的情调,好像每一条未知的路都可以通向秘密花园。困扰的是,在这样的路上行走,笨拙如我,穿着平底鞋还会崴脚,拯救我的是行李箱中的两瓶云南白药。 


我享受这里的学术氛围,自由讨论,没有任何一个问题有确定的答案,没有任何一本书指定一个权威的结论,我更敢于妄想之前不敢做的课题,更加多元化地看待这个世界。偶尔会想念坐在教室最后偷偷打盹的日子,以及陪自己打盹的小伙伴。 


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梦境考察-之一左手定则                                                                   Dream investigation--The law of your left side

18/10/2014

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这是梦境,也是现实;是回忆,也是心理分析;是小说,也是一本病历。全凭你随意解读。

Is this is a dream or reality; a memory or psychoanalysis; a novel or a medical history. It is up to you to interpret it.




WelcomeHome
原创作者:
楚茹,英国爱丁堡大学教育学硕士,本科就读于华南师范大学文学系。多年的心理咨询经历让她对心理学的沙盘和释梦理论产生了自己独到的见解和研究。
WelcomeHome original author: Churu, Graduated from the University of Edinburgh in MSc Education; South China Normal University in Bachelor of Literature. Many years counselling experiences have given her have a special view of dream interpretation and sandbox theory. 
 “梦中无意识出现的人往往只是代表了那样的一个形象,就好像每个人在梦中都会出现一个你称为母亲但其实并非你母亲的人,那个人是你内心深处真正想要得到的母亲的化身,是母亲这个形象的在你心中的反映而已。”
“See, as I always said, dreams always remind us about something. They are the subconscious that cannot be controlled by logic or moral principles. A dream is a straight line to our heart.”


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关于心理成长的六条定律

16/10/2014

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WelcomeHome 原创作者:杨晓翀 (爱丁堡大学心理咨询在读研究生、北京大学心理学学士)
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          与定律相对应的,是破碎。所谓破碎,意思就是,如果我们的成长环境明显违背了这些定律,我们的心灵就会受伤,我们的生命感觉就会出现破碎。


  定律一:成为自己

  我们生命的根本动力是成为自己。

  美国人本主义心理学的代表人物马斯洛称,人有五个层次的心理需要:饮食与性的生理需要、安全需要、归属需要、自尊需要、自我实现的需要。

  如果按照另一位人本主义心理学的代表人物罗杰斯的话来说,所谓自我实现的需要,也就是成为自己。

  什么是自己,我们又怎样可以成为自己?

  罗杰斯认为,所谓自己,就是一个人过去所有的生命体验的总和。假若,这些生命体验我们是被动参与的,或者说是别人的意志的结果,那么我们会感觉,我们没有在做自己。相反,假若这些生命体验我们是主动参与的,是我们自己选择的结果,那么不管生命体验是快乐或忧伤,我们都会感觉是在做自己。

  是不是在做自己,这一点极为关键。

  如果我们感觉不是在做自己,那么不管别人的意志看似多么伟大或美好,我们都会感觉很不舒服,并会做一些看似莫名其妙的事情。看上去,这些事情像是自毁或伤害别人,但其实我们不过是在用这些事情来唤醒自己的意志。

  譬如,美国明星“小甜甜”布兰妮•斯皮尔斯,她在演唱事业上获得了极大成功,但是,这个成功不是她的意志的胜利,而是她妈妈林恩的意志的胜利。从两三岁开始,妈妈一直带着她转战美国各地,用尽各种办法为她谋取演唱的空间。为此,她没有了童年,只有13~15岁期间,过了两年女孩的普通生活,还有了初恋男友。但林恩为了在女儿身上实现自己的野心,迫使这个男孩离开了布兰妮。这只是布兰妮母女关系的一个缩影,其实布兰妮的妈妈在各个方面都想操控女儿的一切。

  按照通常的观点,布兰妮的妈妈在教育布兰妮上是无比成功的,她用非凡的手腕和坚强的意志把女儿塑造成了超级明星。从布兰妮的角度看,妈妈这样的塑造似乎也是值得称道的,毕竟她是在妈妈的推动下获得了非凡的成功。然而,布兰妮的内心深处不这么看。譬如,在精神近乎崩溃的时候,布兰妮在一家疗养中心不断对别人说:“我是骗子!我是冒牌货!”

  这句话的意思其实很简单,意思就是:你们在我身上看到的所谓成功不是我的,而是我妈妈的,她通过我的身体实现了她的梦想。这看似很好,但布兰妮的意志却被剥夺了,她远远没有成为自己,而只是妈妈的“自己”的延伸。

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 类似的例子还是迈克尔•杰克逊,他的名声、才华和影响力都胜过布兰妮。但是,他开始的成就也是父亲粗暴的塑造方式的结果。并且,和布兰妮一样,他在一次接受采访时对记者说,他的童年被剥夺了,这是令他最耿耿于怀的事情。

  后来,杰克逊对小男孩极其痴迷。这一点都不难于理解,他迷恋小男孩,是因为他自己不曾做过真正的小男孩。他和那些小男孩在一起,就好像得到了自己已经逝去的童年似的。

  在爸爸的粗暴的意志控制下,杰克逊失去了童年。但他自己的意志渴望拥有一个快乐的童年。于是,他迷恋男童。只是,当他把他的渴望强加在那些被他迷恋的小男孩身上时,他也是将自己的意志强加在他们身上,他是在剥夺这些小男孩的做自己的机会。

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  破碎一:我们被选择,被决定

  人本主义心理学将自我实现视为最高价值。相应的,存在主义哲学也将“选择”视为最主要的命题。

  用最通俗的话来说,存在与选择的关系就是,你选择,你才存在过。如果你总是被选择,那么你就是不曾活过。

  但问题是,太多的人喜欢把自己的意志强加在别人身上。甚至,一个哲学家称,一个生命的过程,就是不断与别人的个人意志做较量的过程。别人会将自己的意志强加给自己,自己同样也会这样做。

  这样做的时候,我们会有很多名堂,最简单的说法是,我这样做,是为了你好。

  对此,以色列哲学家马丁•布伯称,一旦你将对方视为实现你的目标的对象和工具。那么,不管你的目标看似多么伟大,你都对那个人造成了伤害。著名的寓言小说《盔甲骑士》中,骑士对导师梅林说,他爱妻子和儿子,但梅林反问他:“你有没有把需要当作爱。”骑士恍然大悟,他需要去“爱”妻子和儿子,不管妻子和儿子需不需要,他都要去“爱”他们。其实,妻子和儿子只是骑士的爱的对象和工具而已。或者说,骑士只是想将自己的意志强加在妻子和儿子身上罢了。难怪,妻子和儿子都对他的爱没什么反应,因为这种爱其实是伤害。

  不过,自己为自己的人生做决定,自己把握自己的命运,这听上去很动听,有一些伟大的味道。然而,这样做的另一面,意味着你必须为你的决定负责,如果选择错了,你受伤了,不要怨天尤人,不要把责任推卸到别人身上。很多人惧怕这一点,于是宁愿放弃自己的意志,宁愿被别人决定。

  由此,他们自己阻断了自我实现之路。

 定律二:我们天然就有一个精神胚胎

(。。。。。。未完待续)
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50 Ways to Take a Break

9/10/2014

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如何管理压力?

压力存在于每个人的生活中。它可以成为你积极进取的动力,但如果不加控制,慢性压力也有可能会使你出现很多生理不适,如焦虑、失眠、高血压等。本周的心·Tips就来教你怎样合理控管理压力。

1、  从压力源中抽身而出
哪怕只是20分钟,从令你倍感压力的事物中脱身而出,调整一下自己的心情,你的感觉会好很多。

2、  运动
我们都知道运动有益身心健康,所以尝着在倍感压力的时候活动20分钟,你会立刻得到一些释放,而这将持续好几个小时呢!

3、  笑一笑
大脑会控制我们的情感与面部表情,当你感觉到压力的时候,你的面部表情会立刻显现出来。所以多笑一笑会令你释放掉一些压力,从而改善情况。

4、  寻求人际支持
当你把自己的想法分享给其他人的时候,朋友们会帮你分担许多压力。不过记住,要找一个可靠的人哦。

5、  冥想
冥想能够使身体和思维得到放松并提高专注力,它还能够开拓你的视野,令你自省。

How to manage stress?

 Stress exists in everybody’s life. Some stress can be beneficial at times as it can provide the drive and energy to help you. However, uncontrolled chronic stress can result in serious health conditions including anxiety, insomnia, and high blood pressure. This week, let’s talk about some tips to help manage stress.

1.       Take a break from the stress
Even just 20 minutes, get away from things that make you feel stressed and try to take care of yourself, you will feel much better.

2.       Exercise
Exercise benefits your mind just as well as your body. 20-minute exercise in the midst of a stressful time can give an immediate effect that can last for several hours.

3.       Laugh or Smile
Our brains control our emotions and facial expressions. When you are stressed, your face will show it. So laughing or smiling can help relieve some of that tension and improve the situation.

4.       Get social support
When you share your concerns or feelings with another person it helps relieve stress. Remember, find someone you trust or feel comfortable with.

5.   Meditate
Meditation helps the mind and body to relax and focus. Reflection can help people see new perspectives and develop self-compassion.

 


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Confidence Boosters

5/10/2014

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Source:
 http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/458275/167445/confidence-infographic/?ap=2012

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WelcomeHome寄语  Message from WelcomeHome

26/9/2014

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To all the people from overseas:

Dear all,

WelcomeHome Multi-language Support has been running for six months now. In this period we have successfully organised various kinds of workshops and events and gathered people from all over the world to join us. Our aim is to provide a warm, safe and homely feeling space for people from overseas. We sincerely hope all of our “family” members can feel supported by each other and enjoy every moment living in a foreign country.

Today after all the hard work we have finally launched our Inaugural newsletter. Please find it here. And please leave your comments and feedback, forward it to others and we promise we will make it better.

Here I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of our “family members”. Thank you for joining WelcomeHome.nYour trust is the most important thing for us. At the same time, I really want to thank all of our team members, as without your encouragement and tireless work WelcomeHome would not have made it this far. I have to say I am really happy I have met all of you and I really appreciate having you as my team mates so that we can work together to make WelcomeHome grow faster. And last but not least I need to thank my tutors, classmates and friends who support me and encouraged me all the time. This is really important to me. I hope everyone can find a warm, comfortable and happy feeling in WelcomeHome’s family.

Although WelcomeHome is still young and there are still many things to be improved, I believe as long as we keep working, keep holing our belief about helping people from overseas find their happiness living in a foreign country, we will make it soon.

So welcome to join us and being one of our family members.

Kind regards,

Ziwei Wang

Founder of WelcomeHome Multi-language Support

致所有远离家乡的朋友们:

WelcomeHome从创办至今不到6个月的时间里组织了各项丰富多彩的活动,聚集了来自世界各地的朋友加入我们。我们的目标是为远离他乡来到英国的朋友们提供一个家一般温暖、舒适和安全的空间。在这个“家”里我们可以互相倾诉,互相扶持,让大家每天都有好心情。

在这里,我想特别感谢所有WelcomeHome的成员,是你们的鼓励与支持让WelcomeHome能够开办到今天,是你们的不断努力工作让WelcomeHome快速成长。我非常高兴能够遇到你们,并感谢你们愿意加入我们,为WelcomeHome献出自己的一份力量。同时我更要感谢所有“家庭成员”们和参加我们活动的老师们、同学们和朋友们,你们的宝贵意见和建议是我们成长的动力。希望你们能在WelcomeHome这个大家庭中找到一份温暖、舒适与安心,最重要的是一份快乐好心情。

今天,在WelcomeHome成员的共同努力下,我们终于推出了首期WelcomeHome周报。希望大家能积极阅读、积极反馈、广泛传阅。我们会持续改进,为大家推出更多丰富精彩的内容。

请大家关注我们的官方微博:welcomehomesupport

或访问官网:www.welcomehomeuk.com

此致

         敬礼

王子薇

"回家"多语言心理辅助中心 创始人

欢迎你们加入到我们这个大家庭中来!


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爱丁堡,与你初相遇 Edinburgh,The First Love with YOU

24/9/2014

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作者:刘一昕     By Yixin Liu  Translate:Matt Liu 
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初相遇
              -----席慕蓉

我喜欢那样的梦
在梦里 一切都可以重新开始
一切都可以慢慢解释
心里甚至还能感觉到所有被浪费的时光
竟然都能重回时的狂喜和感激
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站在黄昏中的卡尔顿山,离玫瑰色的云雾最近的地方,痴痴地瞭望。我倾尽此生韶华,只为与你初次相遇。山雾摇曳着远方的风笛声,温柔而和缓地迎面拂过,滋润着异乡人的心扉。这座小城,氤氲成了一幅绝美的情画。

仿佛是有灵魂的,向你诉说着百年的沧桑。爱丁堡的厚重从来不会让人感到沉闷,沿途路过的精致别墅,黑栅栏,白窗棂,五彩花篮使人沉浸在无限遐想中。中世纪的鹅卵石古道,纵横交错。英式的红色电话亭矗立街头,而色彩同样鲜亮的双层观光巴士,在以黑灰色调为主的城市背景里,婉约成了一曲断章。沿Royal  Mile走过去,看到一个瘦削的男人,手持竖琴,坐在路边,双手抚动琴弦。花白的头发垂肩,晚风时常从他的发间和琴弦之间穿过。琴声轻柔、灵巧,在空气中流淌。此刻,时间为他静止,仿佛伸手就可以触摸到音符。

流年未央,经年未忘 。作为异乡的学子,些许迷茫,不知所措,这座城市的美却吞噬了一切忧伤。缱绻的夜色,微醺了时间的沉香,朦胧的月色环抱着山脚下的这座小城,远处的大海又沉沉地睡去……

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Standing on Calton hill,  I spend all of my life waiting just for this meeting with you.   The winds, the fog, slowly and softly touching my face and pulling my heart strings.  These things became just the perfect picture of this city.

Edinburgh, this historical city never lets you feel bored with her soul.  Passing by those beautiful buildings makes your imagination run out of control.  The traditional cobblestone road and the colourful tour bus compose a lovely song around the city.  Looking down the Royal Mile, there is an old man playing a harp.; the music and surroundings combine to create a dream like atmosphere where time seems to slow down and even stop.

The time passes quickly, as a foreign student.  I may feel confused and may get lost, but the beauty of this city just takes all of my worries away.  The city slows down with the dark blue night, Arthurs Seat illuminated by the moon and the sea sparkles in the distance; until tomorrow. 

 




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Workshops and Events Schedule 09/2014-10/2014

13/9/2014

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This is our latest workshops and events time table. For more details please visit our website: Workshops and Events. 
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七夕情人节Party来啦!

6/8/2014

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七夕情人节Party来啦!
Double Seven Festival Party is coming !

火锅+寿司+卡拉OK+Party小游戏+情人节礼物
Hotpot+Sushi+Karaoke+Party Game+Gifts

这个七夕让独在异乡的你不孤单!
On this double Seven Festival you will never alone, even though you are in a foreign country!

大家快来踊跃报名哦。单身的你说不定能遇到那个TA呢?!:P
Book your ticket now! Maybe you will meet your Mr/Miss right ?! :P




时间:8月2日 本周六 18:45-22:00
Date and Time: 2nd August Saturday 18:45-22:00
地点:Yes Sushi 二楼: 89 Hanover St, Edinburgh, Midlothian EH2 1EE
Location: Yes Sushi Up stairs: 89 Hanover St, Edinburgh, Midlothian EH2 1EE
参加人员:不限,单身、Couple、另一半远在他乡...我们统统欢迎。
Who can join: We welcome everyone. So whether you are sigle, with your parterner or far from your parterner just come and Join us.
费用:25磅每人(吃喝玩乐全包括)
Price: 25 Pounds/ per (Including all)
备注:
  • 由于场地限制,活动限制为15人,我们只接受报名。所以先报先得,预报从速哦。
  • 以上费用包括吃喝玩乐所有环节,其他不再另行收费。届时请准备适量现金。
  • 火锅和寿司我们保证大家吃到饱!午饭不要吃太多啦!
Notes:
  • 1. This evening can only accept 15 people. So please book your tickets as soon as possible. 
  • 2. Please prepare some cash and we will collect the fee at the event. 
  • 3. Hot pot and Sushi are all you can eat. 
报名方式: 点击Logo图片或直接点击以下链接:
http://welcomehomedoubleseventhfestival.eventbrite.co.uk

Way of Booking : Please click here or Click the Event's Logo


祝大家情人节快乐!!!有情人终成眷属!
Happy Double Seven Festival !!!

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 This is Edinburgh 1-Thursday Evening WelcomeHome

22/7/2014

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Last Thursday, to help people explore Edinburgh we prepared a special workshop for people who are new to the city. We intended to give people a general idea about Edinburgh and provide some useful information and tips about living in the city; including where to live, where to shop, where to play and where to eat and drink. I hope you found it useful and that you can get to know the city faster and better. As we talked about at the beginning of the workshop, we all agreed that Edinburgh is beautiful, historic, vibrant, picturesque, homely and full of art, magic, and happiness. So I hope you can truly enjoy your time in this lovely city with us.

I would like to thank everyone who joined us, especially for Zejun Yan who has been studying and living in Edinburgh for more than ten years so it was great for him to be our guest and to share his experiences with others; and Jaishiv who would like to join us and help others. I think it was a really good opportunity for us to know each other and discover Edinburgh together.

Unfortunately, as our time was limited, we could only finish the first two parts of our workshop. However, don't worry, we will continue this topic to talk more about Edinburgh, such as where to play and where to eat and drink this Thursday. So do not miss to join us this week. Lets keep exploring the lovely city together.

At last, you can download the maps and other useful information on our facebook group:
WelcomeHome-Supporting people from overseas

Book your place for this Thursday at :https://welcomehomesp.eventbrite.co.uk




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